There are many ways in which we can hurt someone but of them all, perhaps one of the worst is with the words we choose to use. The things we say to people can have a much greater impact than we could possibly know. Our tongues can be the sharpest of daggers and can cut to the bone. In fact, most people will remember the injuries they received from the harsh words of loved one long after the memory of any physical pain has passed. Almost everyone is living with the ghost of something that was said to them at one point or another to really hurt them. This is because human beings, no matter how tough they think they may be, have an inherent need for the approval of their loved ones and society as a whole. If something is said to tear away at those fibers, it is very hard to recover from.
Sticks and Stones
We have all heard the saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.” Unfortunately, nothing could be further from the truth. While we have been taught to ignore the things people say to us, it is against human nature for us to do so. No matter how hard we try, it is simply impossible to avoid being hurt by what someone we care about has said to us. To see the truth in this, we must only reflect on a situation in which we have had our feelings hurt by another person’s words. Once we are able to take a good look at how we have been hurt in the past, we can begin to practice care in the things we say to other people. It is important to remember that no matter what situation may arise; verbal attacks are never a good solution. When we attack someone verbally, we attack their spirit much more than we realize.
If You Don’t Have Something Nice to Say
It is very hard for most people to keep from saying anything negative, all of the time. In fact, there is no one who has never or will never say something cruel to another person. Our emotions can cause us to react to anger, fear and insecurity in a number of undesirable ways. If we were all able to live by the old grammar school ideal which taught us not to say anything if there wasn’t anything nice to say, the world would be a much nicer place. However, it is unrealistic to think that we can live like that, without error. The most important thing is that we try to control our tempers and refrain from saying things we know are hurtful. When you are faced with a situation, in which your first reaction is to fire off some sort of harsh verbal attack, try taking a deep breath and considering the consequences of what you are about to say. Chances are, if you truly do care about the person you are about to attack, you may think twice if you give yourself enough time.
Cover Your Ears
Words are not only harmful when they are used to fire off hurtful comments but also when they are used to break someone’s confidence or start false rumors. Another thing people seem to struggle with often, as part of their nature, is the desire to gossip behind the backs of others. There are many reasons that people do this. One reason is their own insecurities and the need to make themselves feel better. Another reason is simply impulsiveness. One thing you can do to avoid this temptation, if you know you cannot be trusted, is to ask people not to let you in on any of their secrets. There are some people who will openly admit that they are terrible at keeping things to themselves. It is much better to admit something like this than to allow someone believes they can trust you, when they cannot.
You Can’t Take It Back
One of the most important lessons that you must learn, is that there’s absolutely no way to take words back once they have been spoken. Unfortunately, many people learn this lesson much too late in life, after the damage has already been done. In addition, it is important for people to remember that life is fleeting and anything can happen. Try thinking about how you would feel if the last words you ever spoke to someone you love were “I hate you.” Sadly, there are many people living with just the sort of guilt as a result of saying something they didn’t mean not having the opportunity to apologize. It is important to remember that once you have said something that has hurt someone, those words will be with that person forever, whether they were true or not. It is important, before saying something to someone that you may regret, think about how those words may hurt if someone said them to you.
Even those of us with the toughest exteriors can be seriously hurt by hateful words. We must not think for one moment that there will be no consequences for the things we say to people. Whether you are dealing with children or adults, using your words as a weapon will have lasting effects. Through reflection and careful consideration we are reminded about the things in life that really matter. It is wise to take some time each day to remind the people we care about how important they are to us. It is also extremely important to remember that anger passes and storms end but the damage that was done can last a lifetime.